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Joke of the Day

"I'm on hold with West Elm and they're playing a contemporary jazz song with a man saying ""aquarium"" every 4 counts. Hold music is evolving"

"If I were a bird, I'd spend my whole day pooping on BMWs."

"The first rule of Thesaurus Club is, you don't talk about, mention, speak of, discuss, chin wag, natter or chat about Thesaurus Club."

"How do you summon a wizard taxi? CABRACADABRA!"

"What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? We better get some support before they think we're nuts!"

"Why didn't the pony speak? Because he was a little hoarse...."

"Love doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to be true."

"A guy walked into a bar. He was brought to the closest hospital quickly."

"I just threw away all the toilet paper in the office so this day is about to get interesting."

"I stayed at a hotel in Silicon Valley last night... The amenities were great. They even gave me a complementary metal-oxide-semiconductor."