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Joke of the Day

"I cried when one day when my dad decided to chop onions for dinner... I miss onions, he was a good dog."

"What happens when memes get lose? ( )"

"Why do people like Trump over Obama? Because Orange is the new Black"

"[astronaut test] Before you begin, questions? [hand raised] ""Is it true the moon is cheese?"" Are you that damn mouse again? [mouse runs out]"

"What do you call a lying rooster? A cock you wouldn't believe!"

"A girl at the restaurant was about to eat her food before I stood up & yelled ""STOP. THIS IS NOT THE THIRD WORLD LADY. INSTAGRAM IT FIRST"""

"The only thing worse than watching a TED Talk is doing it on Netflix so your TV thinks you like TED Talks & tries to make you watch more"

"I do my best proofreading right after I hit send."

"A hard worker got a promotion. Thats the joke."

"*passenger next to me starts putting on headphones* Are you mad at me?"