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Joke of the Day

"The first rule of Thesaurus Club is, you don't talk about, mention, speak of, discuss, chin wag, natter or chat about Thesaurus Club."

"It was so quiet in Chicago during the last inning. You could hear the gunshots."

"Texting for beginners: STFU = Shut the fuck up. LOL = Shut the fuck up. LMAO = Shut the fuck up. ROFL = Shut the fuck up."

"Damn girl are you a pet rock? Because I want you in my butt."

"The dream of a every man with a fat belly... Is to just look down and be able to see his willy."

"Why does a milking stool have only three legs? Because the cow has the udder!"

"Recently scientist found an actual biographical journal of Rip Van Winkle And the rest is history"

"what did the peanut say to the squirrel ??? he said im hungry and I'm as tired as a tree"

"I introduced my girlfriend to my family today. My kids really liked her but my wife seemed mad."

"What do you call a snobby criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con desending.."