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Joke of the Day

"There are a lot of female hormones in beer. When I drink five bottles I also can't drive a car and start behaving illogically."

"What kind of fish will help you hear better ? A herring aid !"

"this month's full moon is in virgo. you know what that means: you shouldn't be friends with me because i will tell you shit like this"

"Stop letting your dogs piss on fire hydrants. Some of us use those for parkour."

"I just heard the words ""she received an academic scholarship from the university of Alabama."" I never thought I'd hear ""academic scholarship"", ""university"" and ""Alabama"" in the same sentence."

"People who smoke cigarettes die sooner, but people who smoke e-cigarettes deserve it more."

"heard this on Storage Wars A Chinese couple own a restaurant, they're in the bedroom and the husband asks if they can 69 and the wife says why you want beef and broccoli now?"

"If a green man lives in a green house... And a purple man lives in a purple house, And a orange man lives in an orange house, Who lives in a white house? A black man."

"Husband says to his wife ""do you smell that"" wife says ""no?"" Husband says ""me neither so start cooking"""

"Why are birds always sad in the morning? Their bills are over dew"