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Joke of the Day

"Stop letting your dogs piss on fire hydrants. Some of us use those for parkour."

"Ayy girl, are you Ohio? Because we should be Dayton."

"How do you say ""fuck you"" in Hebrew? Trust me"

"""no one cares abot ur plan to dig to the center of the earth! the world doesnt revolve around you!"" she said. ""IT WILL IF MY PLAN WORKS THO"""

"The definition of irony... Is not knowing the difference between a definition and an example."

"My friend ""Jesus wasn't that special""... After he said that I say ""but he made thousands of people bread"" He turns back to me and says ""so what, hitler made 6 million Jews toast"""

"Atheists are Popeless romantics."

"Could Jesus make a nerd so nerdy that even he couldn't resist giving him a wedgie?"

"You know they say 25% of women are medicated for being ""crazy"".. That means the other 75% is running around un-medicated."

"Snail Racing My friend owned a racing snail. It never won any races so he removed the shell to make it go faster. Sadly it didn't work, if anything it made it more sluggish"