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Joke of the Day

"Well, that's the last time I tell my girlfriend to sit on my face... whilst doing a Sean Connery impersonation."

"We should move to a herb based fuel economy We can finally make the trains run on thyme."

"When is a car not a car? When it turns into a parking lot."

"The higher pitched my ""hey!"" the greater the chance I don't remember who you are."

"Why was Herbert Hoover such a controversial president? Because he never let the dust settle."

"There was a race between a group of gays and a group of lesbians. Who do you think got there first? The lesbians, because they got there lickety-split while the gays were still packing their shit."

"How can a room full of couples be empty? There wasn't a single person in there."

"Once upon a time there was a Z & D. Then someone tipped Z over. The ND."

"What's Ron Jeremy's favorite shape? Erectangle"

"What would aliens say if told that Earthlings shift clocks by an hour to fool themselves into thinking there's more sunlight"