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Joke of the Day

"When is a car not a car? When it turns into a parking lot."

"Why is heaven a paradise for the common man? Because all the politicians are in hell."

"I was just wondering, if you're not too busy sometime, maybe I could pet your dog"

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on euthanasia. The librarian says, ""I'll do my best to assist you""."

"If anti-gays want to stop gay sex... They should encourage gay marriage."

"Want to hear a funny joke? Hold on, I'm just gonna hit snooze once then tell it."

"A kid asks his dad ""What's worse: ignorance or indifference?"" ""Johnny"", responds his dad, "" I neither know nor care."" Edit: granma grammar."

"If you are between 8 -16 years old and not whiskey, you are annoying."

"I always play it safe during sex. I cut the telephone chord."

"Germans be like: Been there, Done that."