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Joke of the Day

"Why was Herbert Hoover such a controversial president? Because he never let the dust settle."

"I like my woman like I like my font Bold, black, and size 14."

"You know why paedophiles don't play Skyrim? No lollygagging."

"Why was the letter ""Z"" lucky it was not Jewish? Because all the other letters were NOT Zs!"

"Why didn't Hannibal Lecter have any friends as a kid? He was told not to play with his food."

"My doctor told me to avoid trans fats. I'm really gonna miss Tumblr."

"The people in this spin class are looking at me like they've never seen a girl with a helmet before."

"Maybe you owe the rhythm some money and that's why it's trying to get you. WE DON'T KNOW!"

"I'm trying not to get an erection... But it's hard."

"How do you find Illuminati's secret hideout? You triangulate their position!"