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Joke of the Day
"Once upon a time there was a Z & D. Then someone tipped Z over. The ND."
Next Joke
"Sex is like chess You gotta know in which position to put the queen"
"I asked a waiter how they prepare their chicken. He said... ""Meh, nothing special. We just straight out tell them they're going to die."""
"I'm impressed with my mom's commitment to saying the word 'the' before every noun. Example: the Walgreens, the AIDS, the Fox News, the Adele"
"Trust is knowing you never have to look through their phone."
"Red sky at night shepherd's delight. Red sky in the morning... Your barn's on fire."
"Waiter! Oh Waiter! Yes, I`d like to know if I have earned any CashBack Reward`sTM with the purchase of my farm fresh miniature cucumber plate"
"GUY FIERI: ""Just saying, I'm open all week if anybody requests me."" MAKE-A-WISH FOUNDATION OPERATOR: ""Stop fucking calling."""
"If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?"
"How much did King Kong get paid for his latest movie? A gorillian dollars"