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Joke of the Day

"I feel like every time a GOP candidate drops out, Oompa Loompas should appear & sing a song to teach us about the perils of gluttony & greed"

"What is the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your parents you're gay."

"What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a bald eagle A life time ban from the zoo and a felony...apparently"

"The female praying mantis devours her male within minutes of mating, whereas ... the female human stretches it out over a lifetime!"

"We go to college to get a good job to buy an expensive tv to watch truck drivers on the discovery channel."

"Your Momma is so classless... She could be a Marxist utopia"

"I wouldn't last 5 minutes in prison what with my milky skin and Glee themed tattoos."

"Are you a can of mountain dew? Cause I'd mountain dew you."

"A priest, a rabbi, and a pastor walked into a bar. And the bartender said, ""What is this, some kinda joke?"""

"Comeback Joke * nerds phone rings in class * Cool Guy - awww, was that your mommy? * whole class laughs * Nerd Guy - nope, it was yours. * whole class is silent *"