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Joke of the Day

"I wouldn't last 5 minutes in prison what with my milky skin and Glee themed tattoos."

"How do you start a raid in Ethiopia? Staple food to the ceiling!"

"What do a carjacker and pervert have in common? They're always cracking in-ya-windows!"

"What do cat actors say on stage ? Tabby or not tabby !"

"MOM: You give that back to him, mister ME: Ok mom MOM: and what do we say now? ME: *climbing off unicycle* sorry I tried to steal your girl"

"I tried to change my password to Twilight. But there was an error saying it contained too many useless characters."

"What's the difference between a onion and a prostitute? I don't cry when I cut prostitutes."

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard & they're like ""How did your milkshake develop a gravitational pull that was gender specific?"""

"What do you call a long bike ride with a bunch of cheap wine? Le Tour de Franzia"

"""Why are you glowing?"" ""I've been eating light."""