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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a feminist and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after 3 periods."

"When a person says a book is so good they can't put it down, but yet, are not holding that book. This is why I have trust issues."

"[first date] Me: don't let her know you're a lizard Her: why did you just say that? Me: (gets scared and loses my tail but I grow a new one)"

"Want to hear a joke about a crappy restaurant? Nevermind, I'm afraid it may be in poor taste."

"Life is to enjoy with whatever you have with you ;) An old man had 8 hair on his head. He went to a barber shop. Barber in anger asked: Shall i cut or count? Old man smiled and said: ""Colour it!"" :D"

"Why is the show called SpongeBob when... Patrick is the star. Hurr durr. Tee-hee."

"Why did the penis. . . Why did the penis stop going to the speakeasy? He was sick of ragtime."

"What is the difference between a banjo and a trampoline? You don't have to take your shoes off to jump on a banjo."

"Babies are like Starbucks because they're expensive as shit and yet you still forget them on the roof of your car"

"What do you tell a woman with black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice."