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Joke of the Day

"When a person says a book is so good they can't put it down, but yet, are not holding that book. This is why I have trust issues."

"What did the windmill say to Lady Gaga? I'm a really big fan."

"In all fairness, Trump can't release his tax returns At least not until Putin sends him his W2s."

"I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today. On the front they say, ""I would do anything for love."" On the back, ""But I won't do that."""

"If I ever move to Nazareth I'm going to open a cheese shop. It'll be called Cheeses of Nazareth."

"DON'T shoot for the moon if you miss, you will land among the stars alone and asphyxiating"

"Why couldn't the lake birds get along? Because they were SWAN enemies."

"[Shop class] Satan: Whatcha makin'? God: Trust. Man can use it to form lasting bonds and friendships. What you making? Satan: A bong."

"What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They drive slow in school zones"

"(Creating Atheists) God: Make some humans Sciencey Angel: Will they believe in you? God: No, but they'll be so surprised when we meet!"