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Joke of the Day

"When a person says a book is so good they can't put it down, but yet, are not holding that book. This is why I have trust issues."

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"Did you hear about the guy that was half Black and half Japanese ... ... every December 7th he would attack Pearl Bailey."
"Sex burns 300 calories an hour. After doing some extensive calculations, this year I burned roughly 5 calories."
"Why do lesbians shop at the Sports Authority? Because they don't like Dicks."
"You must hate it when people make assumptions about you."
"Why can't Arabs manage the scoreboards at ball games? Because people get nervous when Mohammad starts counting down from 10."
"Why is James Bond's favourite bartender played by Michael J Fox? He doesn't need to tell him to shake the martini."
"I bought my retarded son a Komodo dragon, but for safety reasons we keep him in his cage. Away from the Komodo dragon."
"Little brother told me this joke, genius. ""Why did Beethoven kill his pet chicken?"" -why ""Because it kept saying ""bok bok bok"""
"What do you call a gay person from Wisconsin? A Dairy Queen"