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Joke of the Day

"I know this place will prepare my taxes competently--they have a guy dressed as the Statue of Liberty waving at passersby. -no one ever"

"My husband asked if I was wet enough.. I was so he told me to get the fuck out of the shower and make him breakfast or he was going to be late for work."

"Did you hear about that one statistician? Probably."

"Wind turbines. I'm a big fan."

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anybody can roast beef, but it takes a special skill to pea soup."

"It would be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was all fun and games up until that point, right?"

"Someone tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that's the last thing I need."

"I have a step-ladder I've never known my biological ladder"

"What did the casket say to the sick casket? Are you coffin?"

"How do you top a car? tep on the brake, tupid!"