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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anybody can roast beef, but it takes a special skill to pea soup."

"Did you hear about that new jewish barista? Hebrews coffee"

"A telemarketer called and said,""can I speak with the man of the house."" I replied, ""sure"" and gave the phone to the cat."

"I saw a man drinking brake fluid. But then he stopped."

"Politicians should be limited to two terms... One in office and one in prison. [Credit](http://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/2jxula/alabama_state_house_speaker_indicted_on/clg2hjl)"

"What did the fish say when it bumped its head? Dam."

"Did you hear about the new Canadian pornographic news network? I'll jizz here, eh?"

"When life hands you lemons, help me throw them at the kids on my lawn."

"The groundhog saw The Shadow and said it was an awful movie."

"The only thing better than an orgasm is being interrupted by stupid bullshit while you're masturbating. I hate stopping at toll booths!"