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Joke of the Day

"14yo: My voice keeps randomly changing DOCTOR: That's normal at your age 14yo: [Batman voice] Thank you doctor DOCTOR: That's not normal"

"What is a great way to baby-proof a house? Condoms"

"When you're in trouble at work, be frank..... That way, when the boss finds out, Frank gets the blame."

"[boy spreads his little arms] Boy: i love you this much daddy! Neil deGrasse Tyson: on a universal scale, that is an alarmingly small amount"

"you're mama so fat... she broke her leg and gravy poured out."

"[on deathbed] ""Tell my Wif... *cough*"" Yes? Tell her what? ""Tell my Wifi provider their broadband speeds were moderate at best"" [dies]"

"What do you the balcony seats at the theater? The Wilkes Booth."

"What's the name of the Hogwarts Professor that has an STI? Syphilis Snape"

"For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping."

"Reward: Lost Dog What kind of a reward is a lost dog?"