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Joke of the Day
"Does killing time damage eternity?"
Next Joke
"To make a long story short: Hamlet: Everyone dies Macbeth: Everyone dies Titanic: Everyone dies Twilight: You want to die"
"""Your lifeguard resume is just a pic of David Hasselhoff"" I feel it says all u need to know about me ""He's drunk with a cheeseburger"" Yes"
"I've been crying a lot recently It's shocking how many girls carry pepper spray"
"Me: I can't believe we have $900 for Christmas gifts this year! Fridge: I don't feel well. I think I have a fever."
"What do male Jews say when they see an attractive female? Challah at your boy"
"BOSS: We need to improve morale ME: Okay BOSS: How about an office party? ME: [crosses out ""replace coworkers with puppies""] I guess"
"Apparently we can't call it crowbars anymore. Its actually jackdawbars"
"Why is the beef in Colorado so good? Because the steaks are high."
"Father catches his son masturbating. Father says, ""Son, you'll go blind if you keep that up. Son says, ""I'm over here dad."""