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Joke of the Day

"Me: I can't believe we have $900 for Christmas gifts this year! Fridge: I don't feel well. I think I have a fever."

"Crocodile: ""See ya later alligator."" Alligator: ""yeah, I don't do that anymore Jeff."""

"Worst Excuses For Being Late 5) Too many dragons 4) Out of dragons 3) I'm not late, Steve is 2) Time is fake 1) Made a list of excuses"

"Whenever I'm in doubt, I ask myself ""What would Jesus do?"" then I remember Jesus got crucified, his decision making skills weren't brilliant"

"Q: How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one more guys I promise."

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? [NSFW?] What is the difference between jelly and jam? *I can't jelly my dick up your ass.*"

"What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel."

"I call my penis... ""the cartridge"" because women love to blow it"

"Q: What do you call two spiders who just got married? A: Newlywebs."

"What's the last thing you want to hear right after you get done blowing Willie Nelson? "" I ain't Willie Nelson."""