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Joke of the Day

"Penn State has missed two extra points today which is weird because they are usually pretty consistent about doing the little things."

"When your boss says ""You need help"", he never means a hitman."

"What did the kangaroo say when her baby was missing? Help! My pocket's been picked!"

"Why is revenge a dish best served with honey? Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)"

"Why do people tip cows? Their service isn't even that good."

"What do you call all Republicans that aren't racist, sexist or homophobic? Nancy from New York."

"Helpful weight loss tip: Don't eat so much, you fat piece of shit."

"A little kid's in school taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says ""What are you doing?"" He says ""Checking my answers."""

"BREAKING NEWS: Just in from a correspondent in the Middle East. ISIS to buy all Samsung Galaxy Note 7. #note7"

"My daughter is worse than a twitter newbie.. She manually Retweets everything I say... To my wife!"