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Joke of the Day

"Why do people tip cows? Their service isn't even that good."

"American light beers are like having sex on a canoe... Its fucking close to water"

"Im a bit hurt that my friends told me I'm condescending. Condescending is a big word that means you talk down to people."

"The most romantic movie of all time is definitely Pixar's UP. That old man really loved his house."

"Whats a baby's favourite temperature? Womb tempertaure"

"Teacher: Why are you late!? Me: There was a man who lost a $100 bill..Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Me: No, I was standing on it until he fucked off."

"A father takes his son fishing Son: Dad, can you teach me how to catch fish? Dad: Sure, son! first you throw the clickbait into the water Son: What next? Dad: What happens next will shock you!"

"How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3/5"

"Who died and left the US in charge? Hitler."

"I once lip locked the soft ice dispenser at Dairy Queen until the manager had to hit me with a mop. So I know a little bit about rejection."