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Joke of the Day
"My daughter is worse than a twitter newbie.. She manually Retweets everything I say... To my wife!"
Next Joke
"My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only that, it's terrible."
"Canadian bird watching is pretty depressing... It's hard to see these birds all aloon."
"What's brown and sticky? A Stick"
"I came back from holiday in India with a really heavy case of diarrhea... ...but they wouldn't let me take it through customs."
"So a neutron walks into a bar... So a nutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, ""how much for a drink?"" bartender simply shrugs and replies, ""for you, no charge."""
"In Colorado you're American In Juarez you're a Mexican. In the bathroom European."
"I gave 3 berries to my friend in a trail and got shot immediately... The sign never said they would shoot for trespassing!"
"Dude in front of me at Starbucks made a big show about calling his Grande a ""medium"" and the barista was like, ""Uck, this again"""
"I was told to bring a box of tissues with me when my friends and I watched Bambi. You can imagine my disappointment."