225168

Joke of the Day

"BREAKING NEWS: Just in from a correspondent in the Middle East. ISIS to buy all Samsung Galaxy Note 7. #note7"

"Did you hear that there's a new ""Divorced Barbie""? Yeah - she comes with all of Ken's stuff."

"Yesterday, my dog was humping my leg So stupid, had to show him where my butthole was."

"If you put 30 female Apes and 30 male Apes in a bedroom what do you have? A very large bedroom."

"""Know what, son? We should do all of our miracles before cameras exist."" - God"

"[new euphemism]: ""As worthless as the last sheet on a roll of paper towels"""

"I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up."

"Monday through Friday I have a friend who, Monday through Friday seems very strong, but Saturday and Sunday he's weekend."

"An elderly man was quite unhappy"

"To whom was Shia LaBeouf chanting ""*He will not divide us*"" after he got arrested yesterday? His buttcheeks."