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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a midnight run to get ecstasy? A nocturnal E-mission!!! I came up with this a few years ago and thought I should share with the masses:)"

"What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Corduroy!"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Nothing, because he ain't coming over to you."

"What are goosebumps used for? To keep geese from speeding!"

"Did you hear that the guy who invented predictive text has died. His funfair is next sundial."

"How do you get a bass player off of your porch? You pay for your pizza."

"What do you call an old barometer? Weathered."

"My son asked me what it is like to be married.. So I deleted all the music on his ipod except for 1 song."

"Just saw one of those giant centipedes run though my living room so now I'm gunna sleep with a flamethrower and a full metal jacket."

"The challenge of modern relationships: how to prove more interesting than the other's smartphone."