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Joke of the Day

"(Spoilers) Ian McShane in GoT I guess that makes him Deadwood."

"Best pick up line I've ever heard Would you mind holding my beer while I go take a shit? ....If she is still standing there. She's a keeper!"

"I tried acting in porn movies but I only had small parts."

"A complete list of movie roles turned down by Nicolas Cage:"

"Gf: do I look fat in these pants? Brain: oh god it's a trap, this is what we've been training for Me: I've seen worse Brain: WTF MAN"

"Scientists are close to re-enacting The Big Bang theory. Hope its got another hot blonde with nice tits in it."

"Lunatic escapes from an asylum, goes to a launderette where he rapes three women before running off into the woods. Next morning's newspaper headlines read.... # **NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS**"

"Q: What's a tongue twister? A: When your tang gets all tongueled up."

"Hey guys, don't you just hate it when you're woken up in the middle of the night for sex? can't wait to get out of prison."

"My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only that, but it's also terrible."