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Joke of the Day

"- Dracula darling, you have something stuck in your teeth. - Vhere, here? - No... - Here? - No, just go look in- - GO LOOK IN WHAT, SARAH?"

"I'd hate to be stuck behind Satan in the post office... ...for the accursed one takes many forms."

"What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with an overstressed person? An Easter basket case!"

"Never judge a book by its cover. Besides, you're on Twitter and don't even read books."

"You need a woman whose last name doesn't end in .jpg, .wmv, or .mpg"

"What does a lion at the beach have in common with Christmas? (as told by my first grade daughter) They both have Sandy Claws. BOOM!"

"How do you convert Spanish programming into English? Yes++"

"Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick."

"What crime did the man get charged with when he killed a black man? Impersonating a police officer."

"One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. About the same as a common Monday on Earth."