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Joke of the Day

"- Dracula darling, you have something stuck in your teeth. - Vhere, here? - No... - Here? - No, just go look in- - GO LOOK IN WHAT, SARAH?"

"The Canadian Opera Company has announced that it will play a special concert series at the Vancouver Art Gallery. They say that this will be the first time the COC has played in the VAG."

"What did Alan Rickman say when he stood over David Bowie's grave? Do you mind if I Slytherin?"

"What do you call an Aztec Mayan snake god tied in a knot? Pretzalcoatl"

"[Scientist describing evolution of the zebra] ""We believe they were crime horses that stayed in jail for like a really, really long time."""

"How did the math teacher solve her constipation problem? She worked it out with a pencil."

"What is the one thing you can't say even on the internet? [removed]"

"Jesus walks into a bar... and orders a water. Bartender says ""Not this shit again Jesus."""

"Just learned that if lightning strikes within 50 feet of you, you can speak every language simultaneously and pee out of your eyes."

"What's the difference between a DVD player and a cow's anus? If you answered 'I don't know,' I'm certainly not letting you borrow any of **my** DVDs in the future!"