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Joke of the Day

"You know times are tough when you are totally jealous of your friends shopping spree... at the dollar store!"

"How do you get into a haunted house? By using a spookey!"

"If I ever get a dog, I'll name her Robbery When I get to store, I'll tell ""Get down, Robbery"". Dog lies and the whole store too."

"What fabric is Mario's overalls? Denim denim denim."

"[Nsfw] So I went to this convention for women who had lost their legs... The place was crawling with pussy."

"What do blondes and turtles have in common? When they're on their backs, they're screwed."

"Translating the German joke Germans only tell Germans. I don't like to talk about the Holocaust either. My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He got drunk and fell off the guard tower."

"So this black guys stopped me on the subway and asked ""did the Yankees win?"" I looked him in the eye and said ""Yes, it's ok, you're free now"""

"Just threw away a trash can. That was weird."

"America was not shut down properly. Would you like to restart America in safe mode, with free healthcare & without the guns? (Recommended)"