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Joke of the Day

"Irish wedding vs. Irish funeral (Possibly offensive? Naah...) What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk."

"Christian Mingle: Find God's match for you. Because the Lord works in mysterious ways. Like setting up a website for his people to hook up."

"Him: let's play a game of rhyme. I'll go first. Romantic Me: Panic Him: Fun Me: Run Him: love Me: shove Him: this isn't going well. Me: hell"

"Maybe ask the judge if your sentence is in dog years or regular years and they'll prob just laugh and let you go you got tweets to write man"

"What kind of fish does Google have in their lobby? [betta]s"

"I was really moved by The Great Gatsby. Specifically, to the theater showing Iron Man 3."

"Albert Bandura can anyone tell me the joke about bandura with a chicken and the egg. something about realizing that the environment came first"

"Based on the amount of tools I've dated, you'd think I got a deal at The Home Depot"

"Your mother is so fat... ...even whilst fucking her it feels like a long-distance relationship."

"How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it."