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Joke of the Day

"How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it."

"People who push and shove to get on a flight before other passengers are possibly going to get to their end destination one second faster."

"What do you call a whirlpool in a church? Holy water!"

"Dogs cant operate an MRI machine, But Catscan"

"I wish I had a more acidic wit Unfortunately mine's very basic."

"JOB INTERVIEWER: Talk about a time when a big project of yours didn't work out as you hoped ME: Well I got two English degrees"

"Aoccdrnig to Ylae rseaerch, it deosn't mtater waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are in, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is how mcuh mnoey you hvae"

"You So ugly.. Local restaurant band you from coming in You can only take Togo orders.."

"Shout out to my arms for always being by my side... & my legs for being there every step of the way"

"What did the gassy mummy say to the other gassy mummy? ""We have toots in common"""