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Joke of the Day

"Him: let's play a game of rhyme. I'll go first. Romantic Me: Panic Him: Fun Me: Run Him: love Me: shove Him: this isn't going well. Me: hell"

"I recently watched the news medias report on the presidential coverage. That's the joke."

"What was the cannibal's favorite part about the Vegetarian dish? The Vegetarian"

"Therapist: So why doesn't the marriage work? Wife: My husband uses to many Star Wars puns Husband: Divorce is strong in this one"

"I sometimes lie awake and wonder how much useful information I've left out of my brain to make room for these Hanson songs."

"I have spent the past year looking for my ex's killer. but no one would do it."

"Guy is taking a super loud dump in the toy. So I kick in the stall door and yell, ""Fuck you, man who is shitting!"" I kick in the stall door and yell, ""Fuck you, man who is shitting!"""

"A dog made out of diamonds is everyone's best friend."

"My mom's favorite part of Mother's Day is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order."

"Don't trust atoms. Seriously, don't. They make up everything."