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Joke of the Day
"How Did the Janitor Get Rich? Sweepstakes."
Next Joke
"Want to feel old? Tsar Simeon I of Bulgaria would be 1,150 years old today!"
"GF: ...I'm pregnant ME: *holding a 10-piece chicken nuggets box that actually has 11 nuggets* I've also got some pretty big news"
"Why can't ISIS members go fuck themselves? Because sex with animals is haram."
"Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Ted Cruz are on a plane. The plane crashes. Who survives? America."
"Where did George Washington keep his armies? In his sleevies."
"Procrastination is like masturbation... It feels good at first, but in the end, you realize that you just fucked yourself."
"Bowling is the perfect activity when I'm in the mood to stick my fingers in disease-ridden holes, but your mom is unavailable."
"How can you tell when someone is vegan? Don't worry, they'll tell you."
"What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint."