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Joke of the Day

"Why can't ISIS members go fuck themselves? Because sex with animals is haram."

"I went to a Zoo last week.... It had no animals there apart from one little dog!!!! It was a Shih Tzu"

"What's the rudest kind of elf? A go fuck yours-elf"

"Where does Santa's stripper mom work? The North Pole"

"I handed a blind guy a sheet of sandpaper. He said he couldn't read the fine print."

"ACCOUNTANT: *taking a look at my books* These are just winky-face emojis. ME: Yep. ACCOUNTANT: I think I know why your business is failing."

"Reddit accounts should be treated like underwear. If you can keep them clean you could keep the same one for a while, but if you flood them with shit you should get a new one."

"My first wife's breasts were different sizes... One spring I took her down to the beach for a wet T-shirt contest. We took 1st and 3rd place."

"What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and an autonomous robot...? Nothing... they were both made to steal American jobs."

"Where the most likely place to find a crack whore? Between a rock and a hard place."