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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Ted Cruz are on a plane. The plane crashes. Who survives? America."

"Just found out that umbrellas open up. I always wondered why my rain stick never kept me dry. We never stop learning do we."

"Are you russian? No, I'm not in a hurry."

"What's the difference between the United States and some yoghurt? After 200 years, the Yoghurt develops a culture."

"I'm finishing off this bottle of wine because you never know when an asteroid is gonna hit and I'd hate to waste the $6.49 I spent on it."

"No matter how romantic of a mycologist you are Never tell your partner you're about to give them a tiny mushroom tip."

"Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are just dying to get in."

"My dad worked on the roadwork's for twenty years before he got fired for stealing! At first I didn't believe it... but when I got home all the signs were there"

"What's the cheapest meat on the Market? Dear balls. They're under a buck."

"NSFW What's your most offensive joke? Here's mine. Q: How do you get a retarded girl to swallow? A: Cum on the window and let nature take its course."