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Joke of the Day

"""Knock knock"" If you hear knocking come from your screen then you definitely need to go and see an expert."

"What is the name of the restaurant chain that serves sushi burritos? Japotle."

"My wife is a magician She turned our car into a tree."

"If being sexy is a crime then I'm not committing one."

"Protip: If a party guest says ""I don't dance"" what he's really telling you is ""make my drinks stronger please""."

"What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together? Carbon Dating."

"14-year old Becky writes ""Stop wars"" as her Facebook status. It gets nine ""likes"", all from world leaders. Peace reigns forever. She did it."

"What state has the best small sized soft drink? Minisoda"

"I really hate it when someone else creates something that I haven't had the chance to think of first..."

"Did you guys hear about how Mattel took back all those Terminator action figures? It was a *Total Recall*"