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Joke of the Day

"What do you get a kid without arms for Christmas? Gloves, but he doesn't know that yet.. since he can't open it."

"I just typed ""married"" and it came out ""martyred"". Damn smart phone is becoming self aware."

"What's the difference between a midget and a dwarf? Little."

"What is a jew on a swing? A annoyance to German snipers."

"Hey girl, are you an orphanage? Because I want to give you kids."

"Me: tries to sleep Brain: M: B: M: B: M: B: if one synchronized swimmer drowns do the others have to drown too?"

"Q: What do you call a cracked window? A: A pane in the glass."

"What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents ? Santa pause !"

"Happy ending massages don't count as cheating... Women pay to have their cars washed for the same reasons. It takes too long, my arm gets tired, and I get my gym shorts all wet."

"Yesterday I farted in an apple store and everyone got mad at me Not my fault that they don't have windows."