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Joke of the Day

"Why did god invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt!"

"Dr: You have walking pneumonia. Me: That's impossible. Dr: Wha.. Me: I've never walked a day in my life."

"What physical trait does a shapely woman who studies statistics have? Belle curves."

"There's a restaurant in hell. Their food is to die for."

"What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on ? A horse !"

"What do you call a factory that only makes good products? A satisfactory"

"Narrator: ""Humans are the product of 4.54 billion years of evolution"" [cut to me pressing harder on remote control when batteries are dead]"

"Will Glass Coffins Be A Success? Remains to be seen."

"Hey babe i wanted to marry you but i had to ask your dad first and he said yes so i guess i'm marrying your dad"

"What do you get when you put a root beer in a square glass? A beer."