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Joke of the Day

"I read in the news today that a man in Los Angeles was killed when he got caught up in a turf war. I wonder if he was mowed down?"

"How many dead babies can you fit in a phone booth? 78.5"

"Why were there 600 Mexicans at the Alamo? They only had 2 cars."

"If Fetty Wap is ever convicted of a crime... He could change his name to ConFetty."

"What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache? A bad mood!"

"Science: I rely on observable data and logic. Religion: I prefer scripture and faith. Astrology: I like turtles."

"How chi was the Olympics? So chi"

"Common sense: Walk away. Me: No."

"Beam me up Scottie! I'm not sure how to work this thing. I have nothing interesting to start with. Maybe a funny joke...Knock Knock!............must have been the wind."

"Police commissioner, do we have any leads in the Trump assassination case? It's too early to tell, but we have reason to believe the gun belonged to Gov. Jeb Bush"