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Joke of the Day

"I hate the phrase ""let me clarify"" because it means someone is about to talk some more."

"TIFU by posting in the wrong sub. Wait..."

"I hate it when TV shows say they contain ""adult situations"" but then don't show anyone going to a job they hate, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid's vomit."

"Why don't you transport onions by boat? You don' want your boat to be full of leeks."

"I think I might go gold mining today... Aurum just gonna stay at home and relax."

"I have a problem with people that are missing body parts. I guess I might just be lack-toes-intolerant."

"Bathroom Boy: Can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: Only if you can say the alphabet Boy: OK abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz Teacher: Where's the p? Boy: ""Half way down my leg."

"What do you call an artist in a dark alley? Sketchy"

"What do Polish arctic researchers do at elections? They have a polar pole poll."

"How do you make a buff guy talk to you for hours? ask about his routine."