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Joke of the Day

"I hate the phrase ""let me clarify"" because it means someone is about to talk some more."

"Eating noodles while studying for a test? That's so Ramen."

"It doesn't matter how hard you think you are. When a toddler hands you their ringing toy cell phone, you'll still answer it."

"Want to hear a joke about my penis? Ahh forget it.. it it's too long. Woman replies: want to hear a joke about my vagina? Ahh never mind... you'll never get it."

"Hippocrates did very well for himself, considering he was named after cages for a large mammal."

"What do you call a room full of psychics? A scam!"

"Mattel has a campaign urging girls to pursue their limitless potential. It's called You Can Be Anything Except A Woman With Barbie's Body."

"I know this gay person whose boyfriend took too much Viagra once. I hate how he's always butthurt about it."

"I don't always give women orgasms, but when I do... I let them swallow."

"I met Greece's finance minister, who was looking for help regarding the situation there. He asked me for my two cents."