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Joke of the Day

"How chi was the Olympics? So chi"

"*stands on a curb next to a stranger* What if i was this tall"

"What's the difference between a nun, and a prostitute in a bathtub? The nun has hope in her soul."

"I used to think I'd never be able to be president because I'm a woman but now I know it's because I don't like drinking water"

"J. S. Bach's wife found herself in a predicament when her sexy underwear caught fire. Johann was quick to respond to her duress and blew air on the g-string."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Ha! Feminists can't change anything."

"Today I found out I have dyslexia... I went to a toga party dressed as a goat."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? you may think it be R, but a pirates true love is for the C (sea)"

"[God waking up with a hangover] last night was a blur. Whose prayers did I answer? [sees Trump leading in the polls] uh oh"

"Blood's thicker than water, so remember to pull back on the flour a bit when you substitute it into your baking."