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Joke of the Day

"(Adobe CEO's house) Like the new couch hun? Update it. What about the wallpap... UPDATE IT ALL. You're scaring the ki... UPDATE THEM TOO..."

"How tall is Luke Skywalker? Six foot force :)"

"Some of my co-workers want to go hang out tonight. Trying to figure how to fake my death and still make it into work tomorrow."

"A man walks into a cafe... splash!"

"Why do German shower heads have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers"

"I am the boss of me. And my wife is my boss's boss."

"The Harambe memes need to stop It's very de-meme-ing."

"*1st day on prozac* Me: These are awesome! What am I supposed to take tomorrow? Doctor: That was a 30 day supply. Me: Whoops."

"What's the difference between my 83-year old grandfather and /r/jokes? My grandfather doesn't have Alzheimers."

"So they told me I couldn't live in the gym but I told them... Squatters' rights."