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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between my 83-year old grandfather and /r/jokes? My grandfather doesn't have Alzheimers."

"Whats the best part about sleeping with a midget? You're sure to get a little head"

"Apparently, some parents are not appreciative of a sweet super supportive air horn during a children's piano recital."

"Abortion - it really brings out the child in you. Anyone got any similar puns? Also: - 9/11 jokes are just plane rude."

"Five years after the Financial Meltdown, isn't it time to recognize that 'The Financial Meltdown' would be an amazing name for a sandwich?"

"A knock knock joke Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't keep making you knock only to have me keep saying banana over and over again in preparation for the punchline?"

"*texting with my mom* Mom: I miss your handsome face! Me: Aww..thanks, mom! I miss you too! Mom: Sorry. Wrong number."

"Me: I'd like to report a disturbance. Police Dispatcher: Okay, where sir? Me: In the force, I can feel it."

"Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dining room, patio..."

"I just apologized to my wife for something she did wrong. Marriage is fun."