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Joke of the Day

"Accountant after reading nursery rhymes to his young child: ""No son. When Little Bo Peep lost her sheep that wouldn't be tax deductible but I like your thinking""."

"There will only be 7 planets left... After I destroy Uranus."

"I saw a pickup truck that said ""Silly boys trucks are for girls"". they have managed to put a kitchen in a truck. Technology is amazing."

"Have you checked on your shelves recently? You know, just to see how they're holding up?"

"What's Gordon Ramsay's favorite movie? IT'S FUCKING FROZEN"

"What do you call an Irishman sitting on your front porch? Paddy O'Furniture"

"I asked my sister how her blind date went ""Oh it was terrible"" she said, ""He showed up in a 1948 Rolls-Royce."" ""So what's so bad about *that*?"" I asked. Apparently he was the original owner."

"A butcher backed into a meat grinder... He got a little behind in his work."

"So my friend got himself a trophy wife... From the looks of it, it was a participation award."

"I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme."