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Joke of the Day

"I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme."

"Us New Yorkers try to stick to the four main food groups; pizza, pizza bagels, pizza pies, and cheesecake."

"The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. ""Six please"" she said ""I could never eat twelve!"""

"Nothing says ""high-functioning alcoholic"" like being really good at darts."

"Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? She's a Woman.... No, Seriously, it's cause she's dead."

"What do mathematicians get if they stare at the roots of negative numbers for too long? Square eyes"

"I just seen someone update their status on Facebook to ""I Wish Every Guy Was Like Jack From The Titanic."" What... Dead at the bottom of the ocean?"

"I think High School birth control classes should just be forcing the students to watch videos of me taking my 3 kids to the grocery store"

"As a German, this year is the first year I'm really happy... ...that I have missed the Coke X-Mas truck."

"What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny."