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Joke of the Day

"I thought my roommate was joking when he said Gary Oldman was in the Harry Potter movies. He was dead Sirius."

"What is bordering stupidity? Canada and Mexico both are."

"I found a website with guaranteed real virgins [NSFW] [www.9gag.com](http://9gag.com)"

"Romeo and Juliet is a story about two teenagers who save themselves a lot of trouble by avoiding marriage"

"What do you call a cow that just gave birth? Decaffeinated."

"Oral exam A mother asks her son how the oral exam was. Son: ""Pious."" Mother: ""What do you mean?"" S: ""The professor asks a question, I cross myself. I give him an answer, he crosses himself."""

"What did the Native American say when he killed his son on a hunting trip? Bison"

"""Hey mom, why does it smell like dead people in here...?"" ""....mom? Mom? ...... Mooooooooooommmmm!!!!!"""

"Why doesn't Ellen have a cooking segment? She's always eating out"

"I don't have a problem with 5p carrier bags, I have a bag for life, ever since I got married last year. ^^"