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Joke of the Day

"Romeo and Juliet is a story about two teenagers who save themselves a lot of trouble by avoiding marriage"

"Loan shark: If you're late my guys will ... Me: Tell my gf my phone password? LS: Break every bone in your body M: Oh. Yeah that's fine"

"Putting a bell around a cow's neck to circumvent its stealthiness is just wrong. I say let them hunt."

"What do a battleship and a belly button ring have in common? They're both Naval units."

"You hear about the blind guy on Wheel of Fortune? He asked if he could buy an I."

"I'm not allowed to have any energy drinks until all the cat's hair grows back."

"Why was the Egyptian boy confused? Because his daddy was a mummy"

"You hear about the gay guy who has a job in construction? He works in a manhole."

"Copper wire was invented by two Jews fighting over a penny."

"How do you know the high heel was invented by men? Who else invents things?"