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Joke of the Day

"Just when you thought 2016 was over. Wham."

"A lady cut me off... The other day a lady cut me off who was texting while driving. I got so mad at her I pulled up beside her and threw my beer can at her."

"Thank goodness for wide, paved road shoulders that important people like me are entitled to use during traffic jams."

"What did the proctologist say to the guy with glued ass cheeks? You're in some sticky shit."

"What do you call a cow that has a record player, tight pants, and thick brimmed glasses? A hip-steer."

"Food bank Im that poor i cant even get help from the food bank, they said I'm 2 tins of Tomatoes and a banana overdrawn."

"I have a dollar bill pressed between my chin and my chest.....who am i? Christopher Reeve at a strip club."

"At first I didn't like my new haircut but it slowly grew on me."

"What is a British person's favorite cereal? Cheerios. say it in a British accent"

"What's heavier: a ton of gold or a ton of feathers? The feathers. The gold's weight is measured using the Troy measurement system in which an ounce is 12 ""regular"" ounces. The more you know..."