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Joke of the Day

"A lady cut me off... The other day a lady cut me off who was texting while driving. I got so mad at her I pulled up beside her and threw my beer can at her."

"Harry, it's your baby Said Professor Umbridge"

"How To Talk To A Woman Wearing Headphones 1. Create a podcast"

"Teenage daughter called me an old fart. We both laughed and then I changed the password to our wifi."

"What is Sherlock's favorite season? Fall..."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar... A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says ""We have a drink named after you."" The grasshopper says, ""You have a drink named Steve?"""

"Next Presidential election, we need to get some guys with beards in there. It's been too long."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Popeye's is across the street and I prefer take-out to dine-in."

"What do you call a potato that looks like a penis? A dictator."

"Harambe walks into a bar Bartender: What can I get for you? Harambe: Just ice for Harambe. Bartender: Sorry, we're out of ice. Best I can give you is a shot."