227325
Joke of the Day
"Sometimes I find it hard to express myself because FedEx hears me breathing."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the guy who designed the monorail? He had a one track mind."
"What do you get when you leave a dog inside a car when it's 100 degrees outside? A hot dog."
"How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hey wanna go ride bikes?"
"News: Hillary won the debate! My friends: Bernie won the debate! Trump: I won the debate! Huckabee: Asian people eat dogs!"
"Interviewer 1: Describe yourself in one word Me: Hired Interviewer 2:[whispers] Holy shit can she do that??"
"No strings attached relationships are all fun and games until you fall for a guitar. Or a marionette. Or a yo-yo."
"This Venn guy was sure bad at drawing circles next to each other"
"Wife: There's a spider in the kids' bedroom Me: I'll take care of it *raises spider like one of my own* *has a little cry when it graduates*"
"In colllege what was the difference between pumpkin pie and my girlfriend? I shared the girlfriend."