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Joke of the Day

"How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hey wanna go ride bikes?"

"What did Sacagawea the frog say in the trampoline factory? I'm very hoppy."

"If I owned a pet store Id put a different rat in the turtle cage every night just to see if any of the turtles knew karate the next morning."

"Wanted: A pack of Polo's, Unopened. In Mint condition"

"[somebody steals my car] it's only metal. the important thing is no one was hurt [somebody steals my tweet] MAY VULTURES FEAST ON YOUR EYES"

"Did you ever hear about the Bass player whose timing was so bad he threw himself behind a train?"

"How do you end a party in a redneck trailer park? Flush the punch bowl"

"Why didn't Hitler drink tequila? Because it made him mean."

"I ate a salad today and it contained both eggs and chicken I didn't know where to start."

"Britain's got pretty racist since the referendum; I was behind a Latvian couple in Tesco yesterday and the lady behind the checkout asked if they wanted any help packing..."