227087
Joke of the Day
"Who cares about the new GTA when you can sit down and enjoy the new testament"
Next Joke
"[Club] Me: *has debilitating crush on a nerd* Nerd: What you feel is a burst of norepinephrine increasing arousal and focus- Me: *swoons*"
"H: So what's the worst thing you've ever seen someone do? Me: I watched a mother buy her son a harmonica."
"Job interview tip: Tell them you're not an applicant, you're an appliCAN. Lick your finger, hold it against buttock. Make sizzling noise."
"My idea of flirting is giving a girl 1 of my 10 tacos."
"I tore the elbow of my shirt last week, but I was able to stitch it back together. On the hole, it's held up surprisingly well."
"I am so lazy I thought about looking at the super moon and decided 2033 isn't even that far away"
"In light of recent events... ...I believe Adrian Peterson should start playing Major League Baseball. He'd be a great *switch* hitter."
"What do you call the score keeper at a jihadi football game? The Taliman."
"First sign of your mother not loving you? Abortion."