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Joke of the Day

"*queen points out window* ""what's that flashing out the window?"" ""Lightning, My Queen"" *car busts thru window* DID I HEAR LIGHTNING McQUEEN"

"Did it Hurt When You Fell From Heaven Straight Into Hell?"

"Dog 1: Help me with this crossword clue. Outer covering of a tree. 4 letters. Dog 2: woof? Dog 1: You're not even trying."

"My cardboard girlfriend fell apart when I came all over her. I don't think she was cut out for that kind of thing."

"A hispanic man with a rubber toe His name...was Roberto"

"Difference between Port Authority and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station... The other's a busty crustacean!"

"Girls don't poop. They go to the bathroom to talk shit."

"What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck"

"A flamingo in the streets and a lion in the sheets and a kangaroo at Target and I think Carl forgot to lock up the zoo last night."

"I love the smell of my F5 key... It's just so refreshing!"